10/27/2023

It's fun to work on this site from time to time when I'm bored or whatever XD. This year has been really bad but doing creative things has helped a lot. One day I'll get this place looking how I imagined it. Though I'll have to like learn more about HTML to make that happen XDD. On this front page maybe I'll keep a lil diary(?) note thingy like this XD. It's crazy that I made this site in February??? Omg??? I didn't think it was that far back LOL. But yes until next time!

-StudyMan99

1/21/2024

Hello guys it's StudyMan99 here! This year has been pretty wild. The exact opposite of last year January. Last year was filled with loss and pain. This year started off really bad though. I was in a lot of pain due to a infection in my gums. A cavity filling fell out of the tooth in the way back of my mouth. It probably was infected for way longer than it hurt. Thankfully as of today I am done taking antibiotic for it so I don't feel much pain anymore. Only the occasional twinges of pain. On the 25th I'm getting a filling in where the tooth was. I feel the best I've felt in a long time XD. Not much else has changed though hopefully good things happen this year XD. Big goal is to leave my parents home because this place is hell XD. I don't talk about it publically too much, but honestly I think it's pretty obvious that I hate my living conditions. It could be worse though as anything can be. It just feels like it gets harder and harder sometimes. Untreated mental illness is uh...not fun to be around XD yah for once I don't mean my own XDDDDDDD. Another goal is to finish more game projects because yeah XD I enjoy creating games and stuff. I have a visual novel cooking currently. Visual novels are like very simple to make in renpy thankfully. A POSTERIORI was way more advanced in every single way compared to this current project so I can really do it XD. I am also extremely hyperfixated on Love Live once again (those who know me understand this.) I love idol anime a lot. It's so wholesome and heartwarming. I deadass was sobbing from listening to Bokutachi wa Hitotsu no Hikari earlier XD. That would be cool to make a game about idols. (StudyMan you know damn well you'd make it dark and twisted.) That's just how I am LOL. I love psychological horror too much. But yes I shall be on my way now. Idk who is reading these little logs/diaries???? but yes XD I hope whoever you are, I hope life treats you well.

-StudyMan99

5/11/2024

Hello guys it's StudyMan99 here. I keep forgetting to work on this site. I really should because HTML is really fun to code with XD. I feel really mentally unwell. I have for years. Since like highschool realistically. I don't know how to get better really. Nothing I can do but to keep moving forward. Last year, 2023, was still way way way worse than this year. Same with 2022, and 2021 and 2020. At least I am starting to truly understand how deep rooted mental health stuff is. I never really wanted to be a cotent creator like how im operating right now. Making youtube videos was only a pipe dream. I know nothing on video production or much technological shit. Code is one thing but editing videos is scary XD. I used to have fun with it but its just so laggy on my 4ish year old acer laptop XDDD. My only goals in life are to make my game ideas into reality and to make art. So same goal kind of. I just enjoy making art a lot. Game making is also really fun. RPG maker 2003 is my favorite program. Renpy is pretty fun to. One day I'll make a full visual novel XD. I feel bad that my like youtube videos have had a lot of like issues with the like footage lagging and stuff. I wish I knew how to fix it. Maybe theres a better program than OBS? Idk im just rambling because I know probably no one is reading this (if u are hello owo!!!!) And im really stressed out. When im panicked or stressed out I just kind of ramble it all out in a really sloppy way. All over. In discord or on twitter (rarely) to people I know. Life has been really fucked up like for as long as my memory goes. Its probably split down the middle of good memorys and bad ones. A lot of bad ones just pop into my brain more. and each time it happens i feel myself sink into sadnesss more and more. I just want to visually display these feelings because its all i feel. i cant make the pain stop. no matter what angle i look at this shit. i wish i could make it all go away.

-StudyMan99

6/18/2024

Hello guys it's StudyMan99 here. Man I forgot that I made the last post here. I was really freaking out that last time because my dog was like really sick. He uh. died 2 days after that post. Not to get depressing. Thats just. yeah. It still hurts. And I think it always will. But I'm okay. He was here for 14 years. I'm just glad that he isn't in pain anymore. aaaa okay no more sad that is really sad god fuck vdfgbnurgeojisdfvoubgeri Yeah pretty much after that happened I haven't really done shit. Like i tried to record videos but it was just like so bad. Ima still release those videos tho because yeah. Also im really happy that im a real person?? is that weird?? like . all this AI shit man. its so stupid. people who use chatgbt?? or whatever to make videos???????????????? thats so dumb????? tho i mean i guess it could have perks or whatever but like????????? idk its just so dumb. AI shit is only good when its like making certain voices sing other songs. Like frank sinatra singing the evangelion op XDDDDDDDDDD iT GOES SO HARD LIKE??????????????? god i really love neocities also like this place is just so good. i wish all of the internet was just this nice XDDD. Fuck social media. Its horrible. I feel like I should make a place where i put these older stories instead of just cloggin the main page LOL XDD oh thats a good idea ill do that now XD. ok i did it yay XD Welp now im doing that XDDD GOODBYE

-StudyMan99